KING JAMES KONG

Johor Bahru -- Villagers in a remote kampung off the offskirts of a small quaint town of Sungei Busuk have claimed the appearance of a mysterious man-beast, known as the malaysian version of their very own bigfoot. The sudden news has sparked widespread interest among the curious folks of this otherwise quiet town of about 1,000 whose main livelihood involves around coconut trees and banana trade.

At the same time, a bunch of ordinary singaporeans have pondered over the sudden disappearance of their primitive-like friend at frequent intervals, sometimes stretching to days at one go. When the said suspect is queried about his absence over several outings, he refuses to shed any light on the matter, leading his friends to suspect that he just might be the very same creature villagers in Sungei Busuk claimed to have seen in the forests nearby.

A photo taken by a high surveillance security team from the malaysian forestry department revealed this stunning picture of the abominable bigfoot apparently taking a cautious walk across the dense forest cover to retrieve food and water. Sgt Abuboo exclaimed: " Sial lah, appa ini machiam?! Really got big monknet in malaysia sia! "

Exclusive pictures published on malaysian dailies, The New Straits Times and The Star drew citizens to grab up every single available copies as the nation comes to grasps with the exciting situation about to unfold right in their own backyard.

However in Singapore, the reaction to this big hoo-ha is quite contrary to the one in Malaysia. In response to the pictures that papers in Malaysia published, the very same group of Singaporeans has sent in a photo which seeks to debunk the myth of the bigfoot in malaysia. Said a highly confident spokesperson for the group with a smug look on his face, Mr. Doong Shiwen: " We have every reason to believe that the bigfoot our brudders from across the causeway sighted, is indeed our beloved friend, Mr. James Koh Chink Egg. Notice the similarity in the pictures we have on our hands. " He proceeds to reveal a set of photo which displays stunningly similar features between the man-ape and the young man.

The Singapore Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Association has raised concern over the welfare of the suspect man-ape in Johor Bahru and will be despatching a volunteer group to monitor the situation and attend to the needs of the loose wild primate if they should stumble upon the elusive creature.

Meanwhile, the controversy surrounding the man-ape James Koh has his friends coming up with several theories for his sudden disappearance. Most are irrevelant, due to the crappy shit that always comes out of the group, but, the most logical of all has to be the one which scrutinizes his genetical history. Again, the ever-confident spokesman of the group, Doong Shiwen has this to say: " Since young, James has this weird tendency to behave instinctively like the primate species while going about his daily life. We suspect all along that it is inherent, and that may only be the tip of the iceberg which will lead us to even more shocking discoveries about his true origins. "

The rest of the group nods in agreement, and also came up with another theory for the public to speculate on: that there may be MORE of James' secretive man-ape species hidden away in the dense forests of JB, oblivious to the advance of the modern world happening at lightning pace around them.

The truth is out there people. Seeing is as good as believing...